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By: Samantha Ronson Jones on Tue Apr 22, 2008

Bridal shower blues? Spring’s here, and by this time, as the Maid of Honor (or bridesmaid), you’re familiar with the old cautionary quip from many a creaky old relative with an inflated sense of their own humor, “Ask not for whom the wedding bell tolls, it tolls for she.” (Let’s take a moment while Mr. Hemingway rolls in his grave, shall we?) Yes, it’s almost wedding season, and you’ve been saddled with the daunting responsibility of plotting a bridal shower. Some of us relish these moments to execute a flawless plan, entertain friends and family, and honor a best friend with a superb bridal shower as she takes the matrimonial journey. Others: well, let’s just say we welcome planning such occasions about as much as we do a dental visit: infrequent, and preferably lasting no longer than half an hour.

But a bridal shower is more than a nuisance obligation: a bridal shower is an opportunity for the family and friends of the bride and groom to support the couple as they begin their journey, by providing them with necessary gifts; and to celebrate in a relaxed atmosphere with the bride before her big day. It’s different from the wedding day – the mood should be informal, relaxed, and pleasant, and with a bit of hard work and some smarts, you can pull off an affordable, interesting, and lively bridal shower that will honor the bride, entertain family and friends, and leave the attendees excited and anticipating the wedding.

Hold the event no earlier than two months prior to the wedding day, and no later than two weeks before.
It might seem sensible to celebrate when more family members are in town, but the amount of preparation and energy that must be devoted to the wedding will detract from the shower, resulting in an unfocused shower. And besides, you need time to rest before the wedding, too!

Don’t invite guests who haven’t been invited to the wedding
This is simple etiquette.

Girls Only, or Couples?
It’s becoming a more common occurrence for the Jack & Jill Bridal Shower – that is, where gentleman and ladies are both welcome at the shower, and engage in a more informal celebration – such as a picnic, or a twist on an old classic, such as a luncheon, with dancing.

Schedule for the afternoon
Keep in mind, this is a bridal shower, and there’ll be plenty of time to let loose at the bachelorette party.

The Gift Registry
It should go without saying, but in case you forgot why, ask yourself how many times have you been to a bridal shower and noticed a stack of similar-looking boxes on the table that ended up all being that same Rancilio espresso machine? A lovely gift, but they’ll only need one, unless they’re running a café! Set up a gift registry, and ensure that the bride also includes items that aren’t as pricy, so that everyone can give.

Pick A Suitable Location
If it’s a couple’s bridal shower, a larger outdoor venue will be appropriate, such as a park, a country club or a reception hall at a social club. Smaller, classical venues will be appropriate for a traditional shower that features a luncheon, and I’ve always been a fan of a shower held at the bridesmaid’s home. We so rarely get a chance to entertain these days!

Surprise or Planned?
As a rule, avoid the surprise shower. If, however, family members or old friends are coming in, you can consider it. Being able to tailor a bridal shower to the bride’s preferences and giving her oversight over the guest-list will do much to create a warm and welcoming event.

Bridal Shower Favors
A staple, but always appreciated. From small pieces of lingerie, flowers, or something as simple as small boxes of candy – it’s a way to buoy the mood of the day.

These are just a few of the preliminary tips I’d recommend to you as the maid of honor. As you determine the exact nature of the bridal shower, consult other friends and family members who have more experience with bridal showers – it will help eliminate headaches, and you’ll probably get an earful of horror stories, too!